Ok!! I am already use to it!!

Used to being alone, abandon and many more.

Just get used to it, and forget about it!!
And start a new everyday.

Dont even bother to think much!!

you can do it gal"! U sure can!! ^^

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I sometimes wondered is it me? Or is it my friend??

Today, during a tutorial class, my teacher had select some people to be a group leader. Each group leader can choose 3 of thier friends to be in their group. While or 2/3 of the group members will be choosen by the teacher.

Two of my friend are choosen to be the group leader. I predicted one of my friend wont choose me, as i not very close to her. That why, i had a feeling that she wont choose me to be in her group. Another of my friend, maybe not very close but still we are friend. I was wonderung that will she choose me in as we are friends, but ended up she choose other of my classmate who she is close to, and left me aside. To me, i felt like i was abandon by my clique. I was wondering where am i not good at? Of course i was angry, but i was more to dissapointed. I know my ability in work may not be as good as the others, but i always try my best.
At that time, i almost cried out. But lucky, i could hold myself. In my mind, i feel like i was outcasted by my friends. I feel that, maybe we are not even close to each other to begin with. As i am low esteem since i was young, i always don't have confidence in myself.

My friend who didn't choose me gave me a shock. I was thinking what will other people thinks about me? I am sure they won't feel pity about me, maybe even thinks that i am deserved to be like this. But i had i done to begin with. I surely dont understand.

Now to even think of it, it hurts my heart alot. All the things we have been through together and i put my trust in them, and they ended don't give a dam and kick me aside.

I really wondered is it my ability in work not as good as other people that why no one will choose me? Or is it me, who naturally being hated due to my looks? It just hurt me when i think of it. Heart which had already broken into pieces wont be the same anymore? I wonder will i be able to trust her again?

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Actually i was wondering...why some people do have secret?

I mean sometimes, what the point of having secret?? Isnt it just make you more miserable??

I know even saying it out also make no difference, but isnt it saying it out makes you feel better??

For me, i feel so "naked" at times, as most of my secret i have told my friends. I dont really have any secret with me now...but just wondering why people keep secret sometime...haha

But i guess sometimes, keeping secret sure make you feel safe...den feeling "naked". Haha...

sorry to have write some nonsense which dont even make sense... -.-

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Miss everything

I am an only child. Don't have any siblings, friends are also limited. But i do have a great family members who loves me. Maybe, my life are way more fortunate compared to other people, as i gain more than i lost.
Maybe gods do love me. And what i did in the past made me regret.
I don't expect myself to go in the heaven when i die, i just hope that i can enjoy and have fun for now.
As i did too much "bad stuff", i deserve to go to hell, if the god say i should go hell.

I am not a Christian. I know god do exist, and maybe god really do love me. But i had lose faith in it. But still i still know that it not their fault. Losing someone is the greatest sadness i had ever gain, but still, sometime, i hope to see the person again no matter what. No matter how happy i am now, i still miss the particular someone. I wished to be with her. I wanted to be with her. But, i just cant.
I hope she can forgive me, as i noe what i said is already too late. But still i wish i could eat with her, take photo with her and talk with her. I miss everything that she does for me. Missed everything...

Just hope that time can reverse to where it is...but...i noe this is not going to happen.

Enjoy the little things ^^

Today, had my lovely soft toys won at the claw machine. And some few other items.
I guess one of the machines is "hacked", as it have credits on it's own. So, almost everything i had is free!! Except the big soft toy. ^^

For me, this is a little things which i enjoy. Although, it is kinda bad, but it kinda cool in someway. I guess people who read this will be cursing and swearing like "what the hell, get it for free??? U so bad...." Etc etc etc, but i am still enjoying it. So far, got a portable charger for smartphones, one portable charger for iphone 4, 3 mini soft toys and perhaps one small key chain.
For what i had, i admit that i have the greed in mind. "Since it is free, i might as well took it." This type of mindset took me in. But if the major prize is psp, s3, xbox, ipad mini, all the expensive stuff, i guess most of the people might took it too. Including me of course...haha.
But no matter what i really had fun.

This is the little things which i had enjoyed.

^^