I sometimes wondered is it me? Or is it my friend??

Today, during a tutorial class, my teacher had select some people to be a group leader. Each group leader can choose 3 of thier friends to be in their group. While or 2/3 of the group members will be choosen by the teacher.

Two of my friend are choosen to be the group leader. I predicted one of my friend wont choose me, as i not very close to her. That why, i had a feeling that she wont choose me to be in her group. Another of my friend, maybe not very close but still we are friend. I was wonderung that will she choose me in as we are friends, but ended up she choose other of my classmate who she is close to, and left me aside. To me, i felt like i was abandon by my clique. I was wondering where am i not good at? Of course i was angry, but i was more to dissapointed. I know my ability in work may not be as good as the others, but i always try my best.
At that time, i almost cried out. But lucky, i could hold myself. In my mind, i feel like i was outcasted by my friends. I feel that, maybe we are not even close to each other to begin with. As i am low esteem since i was young, i always don't have confidence in myself.

My friend who didn't choose me gave me a shock. I was thinking what will other people thinks about me? I am sure they won't feel pity about me, maybe even thinks that i am deserved to be like this. But i had i done to begin with. I surely dont understand.

Now to even think of it, it hurts my heart alot. All the things we have been through together and i put my trust in them, and they ended don't give a dam and kick me aside.

I really wondered is it my ability in work not as good as other people that why no one will choose me? Or is it me, who naturally being hated due to my looks? It just hurt me when i think of it. Heart which had already broken into pieces wont be the same anymore? I wonder will i be able to trust her again?

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